We have recently returned from vacation - a wonderful 2 weeks sitting on a sun-drenched beach under endless blue skies on the west coast of Australia with my family. This was bliss - not doing much, reading, chatting, endless hours playing monopoly - sharing time and fun as a family. The vacation didn’t cost us much, but was priceless for the value we each received out of simply being together. This led me to think about money and how little money it took for us to have a wonderful, memorable time together. We all know how important it is for children to learn about responsible use of money. I have found that the way parents experience money, their children will follow suit. When we first became parents, Phil & I decided we did not want to pass onto Duncan the ways in which we had experienced money as we were growing up. They weren’t positive experiences, and we found ourselves repeatedly in financial difficulties as adults. We figured out we had to change the way we dealt with our finances, and after some interesting experiments, we come up with a way that works well for us. One of the major things we discovered was that we had become caught up in the consumer mindset - we see it, we want it, we buy it - whether we had the cash or not. Dangerous way to go, which leaves so many people in debt, and with a house full of clutter and ’stuff’ which they think must make them happy. A big place we noticed this occurs was with children’s birthday parties. A trend we have seen develop over the past 10 years is for children’s parties and gifts to be bigger and better than last years’, and bigger and better than the kids next door. And always the latest item being advertised in the media. The same was happening with the marketing we were subjected to at xmas, easter and other vacation times. We passionately wanted to not be a part of this over-consumption lifestyle. So we made a decision as a family: we no longer do xmas, easter, mother’s or father’s day, and we didn’t want to ‘make up for it’ by having a big splash and a huge party on birthdays. This has brought some interesting responses from friends and relations. It has also had a wonderful effect on our family, and has been the main way that Duncan, who is 11 ½ , has learned about financial responsibility and how to be happy without ‘things’. In our family we have learned together that we are each special and the birthday is a day to celebrate that specialness, and how to do it without spending great wads of $$$. We all know when our birthdays are coming and we spend time in planning. The birthday is set aside to do things, all 3 of us together - picnic with a basket full of homebaking, or maybe horseriding and favourite food for a homecooked dinner. The birthday person gets to be waited on hand and foot, be told outrageous compliments and pampered. We are sharing and giving of our time and this means more to each of us than any bought gift. When I look at the lives and lifestyles of the people we know who send their kids to school, and then compare to ours, as a natural learning family I can see we are making a huge difference to our son’s life. Not only is Duncan not caught up with the latest fads that infest schoolyards, he has also learned about financial responsibility a lot faster than many of the school bound children his age that we know. I feel that having him fully share our lives means that we can have a more direct influence by showing him how we do things 24 hours a day, 7 days a week - as being extremely low-level consumers. He wouldn’t see this if he were at school all day. As we don’t watch much TV, he doesn’t see much of the advertising directed at children. He is aware of all the stuff that’s available though - he loves to wander through toy stores, but very rarely ever says can I have… I feel he is more sensible about consuming and cluttering his life with stuff. I see it as another way to raise a happy, relaxed child with the beneficial mindset of being a non-consumer. He doesn’t feel deprived or out of it because of this lifestyle choice either. We do give Duncan pocket money, and with our encouragement, he has chosen to receive it in a lump sum only twice a year - on his birthday and 6 months later. This way he can sit and plan in advance what he wants to invest in, to create a budget with this larger amount of money. He doesn’t do the impulse buying thing and blow it all in one day. Today is 6 months from his last birthday and he is very excited. He has chosen a charity to give a %, and he has designed a cat house - a place built on outside his bedroom window for his kitten to play in, instead of letting her outside to hunt the birds and lizards in the bushland. Then we’ll go kitten shopping, he’ll buy his new ballet shoes and some warhammer models, and add some more money to his travel account and to his savings account. He has also allocated a small portion to what he calls ‘wild spendings’ - a trip to the local lolly shop. This has been great for us all - he has learned that getting pocket money each week generally means he will fritter it away. But when he knows the amount he will receive each 6 months, then he can plan and save up for those big ticket items of his choice - and he gets to do it every 6 months. Not all of this has been his idea - I have insisted on some things, like the donation, the travel account and the savings account. And he is happy to do these things now that he is older and he can see the value in them. We have been very careful to discuss with him what’s a do-dad (junk, crap toys, impulse buying) and what will offer him the best long term benefit and happiness - like his kitten and her playroom and his warhammer guys and dance gear. This also has the added benefit of saving us $$$ - in our family we all know that we no longer impulse buy, and that if we really want something, we wait as long as possible before we commit to buying it, to make sure we really want or need it. If there is something that Duncan wants to own really badly he knows he can go have the store put it on lay-by or just wait - he knows the money will be there soon. Best of all, waiting for things has gotten him out of the habit of instant gratification. I am so pleased and relieved that our son will be growing into adulthood free of a mindset which will see him trapped into poor financial habits. This to me is the best way of learning naturally about developing his money mind, establishing financial responsibility and creating it as a habit to ensure a peaceful future.